My Heart Hurts

It's hard for a 3 year old to grasp feelings; several months ago, I picked Isaac up from school and in a sad, pathetic voice he told me that his 'feelings are hurt'.

I was ready to turn the car around and kick the kids' ass who hurt his feelings. I felt terrible for him.

Well, this 'my feelings hurt' when on for many many weeks. He'd say it at inappropriate times (ie, I just gave you a cupcake, there is NO reason why your feelings should hurt).

I finally got smart enough to ask him to SHOW ME WHERE YOUR FEELINGS ARE.

He promptly opens up his mouth and points to the back of his throat. Ahhhh, your throat is sore. I get it now. So we talked about the difference and now when our true, emotional feelings are hurt, he tells me that his 'heart hurts'.

We're at the park this week & 2 boys he normally plays with were there and Isaac tried to join in.

These boys told him No. We don't want to play with you and don't want to be your friend.

I watched this happen. I saw the looks of confusion, then sadness cross Isaac's face. I wanted to go grab those 2 boys and shake them. They are lucky to be ALLOWED to be in my sons' presence.

Yes, I get this is 3-4 yr old play. And I realize that this is probably the first of many times to come that this will happen to Isaac. I realize that he will also be on the giving end of meanness to other children. I realize that as he gets older the meanness and the feelings will intensify.

And I get that we're all not meant to be friends. It's ok to not like people and not want to be their friends.

But man if I don't have an answer for my boy when he asks me why those boys said that to him. My heart hurts when he said

Please wipe away my tears mama, I'll find a new friend.

Then & Now

 

This picture above is one of my favorite pictures of Isaac. I took it on a hike when he was around 18 months old.

You can see in the photos below, things don't really change; 2 years later I'm still just trying to keep up with him.

 

 

Now, This Is Fun...

Taking 3.5 yr old boys trick or treating is one of the most entertaining things I've done--ever. We started as a big group, but only 1 boy could keep up with Isaac.
Isaac, WHO RAN THE ENTIRE TIME.
Isaac, WHO FELL FLAT ON HIS FACE AND SKINNED HIS KNEES TWICE
Isaac, WHO DECIDED TO HANG HIS CANDY 'ROUND HIS NECK WHEN THE BAG GOT TOO HEAVY

 

He did have on his light up shoes, but that didn't help much in the hordes of children--next year, I'm putting one of those flashing bike lights on his back so I can keep up with him.

On a different note, after he CRASHED in bed, I stayed up and ate EVERY SINGLE piece of chocolate in his bag, except the 3 Musketeer's. No taste for those. But EVERY other piece was devoured. I think it's probably the equivalent of 15 full size candy bars...AND I didn't even get a stomach ache.

I did get busted the next morning when Isaac saw all the wrappers in the trash. I'm not sure who gave me a worse dirty look--him or my husband.

But you know what, I'm ok with it.

I have no will power and it was much better to sit down and binge then to have a piece here and there. At that rate we'd be in chocolate til June and no one needs old chocolate (but what WERE all those people at the store doing yesterday filling CARTS full of 50% off candy)?

Motion W

Seriously? I'm good. Yeah, I've got like mad pumpkin carving skills in and around taking care of 2 children, one being a newborn. And if you don't know what a Motion W is...shame on you.

 

What Did You Say?

So, in addition to 'why', Isaac says to ME "What did you say" or "I didn't hear you" about 50 times an hour. I spend all day long repeating myself to him.

On the 4th time repeating myself, my voice gets a little snap in it...rightly so don't you think?

Here's an example:

Do you want anything to drink?

What did you say?

I said 'do you want anything to drink'?

What did you say?

What do you want to drink?

I didn't hear you.

WHAT.DO.YOU.WANT.TO.DRINK?

YOU DON'T NEED TO TALK IN A MEAN VOICE TO ME. PLEASE TALK NICELY TO ME.

Isaac, I am asking you what you want to drink.

YOU NEED TO BE PATIENT WITH ME.

Isaac, I have no more patience. Do you want something to drink or not?

I am just not able to hear what you are saying to me.

OMG. Resist urge to throttle child.

I'm complaining about this to dear husband and I get about 45 seconds into the conversation and he says to me:

Huh? What did you say? I pause to evaluate if he's serious (he is)

Are you serious? I JUST SAID I SPEND ALL DAY LONG REPEATING MYSELF.

So after some thought I start to worry if maybe he's hard of hearing. So I send out the alert at his school for them to watch him, track how many times he says it to them, or evaluate if he isn't listening because he can't hear vs being naughty.

Their report--he's fine. He hears fine and they have NEVER ONCE heard him say that.

Their conclusion?

The boy has selective mom hearing. Great. At 3. He's choosing to tune me out.

Why?

We are solidly in the world of 'why'. Why. Why. Why. Why.

Why, I do say, it is driving me nuts.

I've tried just ignoring it. But he then repeats himself incessantly until I answer. And for some things there just isn't an answer. If you can't deduce which line is mine and which is Isaac, move on to the next blog.

Why are those cows walking to the barn?
Because they're cold.
Why are they cold?
Because it is night time and they don't have coats.
Why don't they have coats?
Because they are cows.
Why are they cows?
Because, God made them that way.
Why?
Um, because they must have led a good life in the past and they've come back as cows but these cows aren't fortunate enough to belong to a Hindu farmer who thinks they are sacred and so they are bound for McDonald's.
Why are they going to McDonald's?
Um, why do YOU think they are going to McDonald's?
Because they want to get french fries that their grandma buys them.

Yes, that's probably exactly why they are going to McDonald's, but it doesn't answer the question of why they were heading to the barn in the 1st place does it?

ENOUGH already. I want to rest my mouth, it's tired of talking (believe me I don't say this outloud or we'd have a whole round of 'why is my mouth tired').

Mad Face & What's Up With the L's?

Isaac isn't as much fun to take pictures of anymore. Why? Because he's boycotting the camera. The one below represents his 'mad face'...it's either that or he non stop yells CHEESE. Just relax, be normal, ignore the camera.

 

And I've been thinking about this whole Wed Zeppewin business and why Isaac can't say 'L' sounds. This makes no sense to me. The boy has good speaking skills and an impressive vocabulary. I enjoy talking with him as I never know what will come out of his mouth. I understand 99% of everything he says--as do others outside of our home--with the exception of made up words like 'hockabootie'...what's a 'hockabootie'? Apparently, it's like 'uffda' to a Minnesotan--it can mean just about anything you want.

But back to the 'L's.

He can say, perfectly clear the following random sample of L words/L sounds
Love
Lucy
Like
Lost
neighbors Lindsay & Lore
Wolf

So why can't he say Led Zeppelin? Or Sleep or Lips for that matter? Sleep & Lips are the 2 big ones that are a bit baffling.

On the other hand, it sounds ridiculously cute to hear him say

I need a kiss on my WIPS before I go to SWEEP tonight